Nkas in Trader Joe's

 
dat sh*t cray

Brehs, attend. This post is gonna hurt my heart, but I'm doing it anyway. I just hope that none of my former duct tape, ski mask, pistol under the pillow associates come across this blog.  

*Throws North Memphis Vet card on the ground*

 

I be in Trader Joe's, brehs. I can't even lie. Despite my general misgivings about being around large groups of 2520's (you never know when they'll start to acting crazy), I be in Trader Joe's. I always get the most sideways ass looks, but I be in there with a basket full of TJ's PB & J and those bawse Salt and Pepper chips. I can't even lie.

It's cathartic, brehs. It's like a bubble bath for the soul. I ain't even gonna pause that, either. When I'm walking across the parking lot and I see four or five tattooed white girls pushing grocery baskets in the parking lot and smiling because deep down inside they want my five dollar foot long, it's like my mind says: "We made it, nka. Pegro heaven. You're finally where blipsters go to die."

Trader Joe's is, no bull, one of the best grocery stores I've ever been in. Everything in the place is generic, so there's no wasting time trying to figure out whether the Kraft or the Kroger brand Ranch is gonna go good with my baked potato and Alfredo noodles. It's all good quality stuff, and they step outside the box a little bit with their selection (There's Trader Joe's soy ice cream, and Trader Joe's Massaman Curry. In real life).

Trader Joe's has a bangin beer section, and it's not all marked up 40% just because there are a lot of yt ppl in the store. They don't have Champale or Colt 45, but I just gave up my hood pass so I guess that doesn't matter so much anymore.

There's a few things that bother me about Trader Joe's though. I think the Organic Foods game is somewhat of a hustle. And Trader Joe's is FULL of organic stuff that goes bad three days after you buy it. Oh, and it's full of white people. Them 2520's is cray, fam.

And there's too much kitsch. I don't need catchy ass phrases and art deco on my price tags, man. I just need to know how much this parmegiano reggiano costs cuz a nka got linguinis to cook. 

If you decide to revoke your hood pass and go into TJ's I recommend those Salt & Pepper potato chips, their Spinach and Artichoke dip, and their Tomato Basil Hummus.

A Breh Wants to Know: Do you shop at Trader Joe's? Do you like the experience? Share knowledge with a breh, what do you normally get from there?